So my trial exam is this Monday. This exam is undoubtedly the most important exam I will take in my high school life as these results are what I will be using to apply for college. I had resolved after my atrocious Mid-Year Exam marks, that I would study harder and do better. Yet throughout this blog, posts are filled with me complaining about how useless I felt and how I basically, wasn't doing anything BUT complain. Right now, I feel kinda numb. Initially, I studied consistently, and now, the closer the exams are, the less I'm studying. I don't even know why. I still haven't covered my form 5 syllabus for chem and physics (although I am slightly better off, THANK YOU MR. TAN!) and my form 4 is only 70% these as I haven't even gotten to doing exercises and such. And BLOODY HELL, my add maths. I am scared shitless for addmaths. My teacher isn't doing a 'standard SPM paper'. He says it's "Like a more difficult version of SPM" =.= Bloody. Frikkin. Hell. I just. I can't even. Frickin hell.
I'll admit, today and yesterday night was COMPLETELY unproductive. My attention span grows shorter by the minute, and so does my urge to study. It's bloody ridiculous, but I don't see any point in ranting about it anymore, simply because, what good would it do? I have less than 48 hours before my first day of exams. There is no more time.
I will just do what I can, with what I have. Push on, and I won't look back. If the fruits of my labour bear results that aren't good enough to get me into Trinity, fine. Another year in Malaysia.
Speaking of which, my parents have told me that it's "Trinity or nothing." =.= Probably for my own good though. They fear that I'm comforting myself with thoughts like, "Taylors only needs minimum 5/6 C's!" and such and such. They just don't want me to be deterred, they want me to keep my eyes on the prize.
I'm just numb. There's no other way to say it. You're all probably like, "If these exams are so important, WHY the hell are you blogging?!"
Obviously, I'm blogging because it makes me feel better. =.= It's my outlet to express myself and vent.
Doi.
I'm debating with myself on whether or not I should pull an all nighter. I wouldn't really mind, with the aid of my good friend, caffeine that is. Only problem : I have tuition at 8am tomorrow =.=
SIGH.
Ciao4Now
